My Self Assessment

At first look, I don't appear to many as a very talkative and confident person. I always look down as I'm walking and try to avoid eye contact with anyone coming my direction, especially if it's a cute guy because I'll start hyperventilating as well. I used to have the habit of not talking to anyone unless they themselves first tried to have a conversation with me. The thought of sounding stupid and weird would make me paranoid with fear of meeting new people so I would push the small amount of self-confidence I had in me away. My lack of communication skills leaves me feeling trapped when I so desperately want to tell people how I feel about them and maybe certain issues around me. I realize that communication is key to help me succeed in life and I need to overcome my fear so I started working at the hospital where I would be forced to talk to complete strangers wanting to go visit family members or pick up patients and send them home. I have also forced myself to talk to people around me that I never had the courage to do.

My listening skills have always been attributed to the lack of talking that I used to do. So instead of talking to people, I would just listen to their conversations and occasionally nod or shake my head. I listen to my friends whenever they have problems and closely observe everything to say so I can provide them with some sort of advice that my head can come up with.

Since the 7th grade, I have kept a journal where I would write down my thoughts about whatever was going in my life. I would write about the torture of school or any new puppy crushes that I had which only lasted a couple of weeks. Soon instead of writing about boys and teenage nonsense, I started to write short stories, poems, and lyrics for songs. My vocabulary expanded and my thoughts became more mature and intellectual as I started examining the world and its complexity. I also joined the Journalism team for my school's UIL and that pushed me to continue writing.

I have a great curiosity that allows me to explore new topics in writing and a great variety things happening in the world. I, however, do not watch the news regularly and I know sometimes I don't know some news that is going on in my own city. I can be oblivious to important news and I need to start watching the news so I can have a greater amount of information.

My self-confidence is under construction right now as I am barely starting to work my way to become more social with people. I still have my moments of self-doubt when I wear my baggy clothes or glasses and I become sad and think I look ugly. However I am slowly starting to tell myself that I need to accept who I am and how I look. With this construction that I am undergoing I slowly try to become less shy, more curious, and more self-confidence that can help me communicate with others and write more interesting blogs that can show people that I have a voice.